True but thats because hes a fetus.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
