ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
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I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
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You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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