I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Randomize
