Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
