john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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