even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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