I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
