some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
