T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
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