i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
