she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
My liver is preforming stress tests.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
