this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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