He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
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