i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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