Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
