Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
