she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
she smelled like a LAN party
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
