I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
