??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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