They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
