only if we run a train.
done.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
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If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
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What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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