Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
