Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
