we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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