What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
