My nipple is on Facebook.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize