he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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