She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize