bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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