My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Acid is not a monday night drug
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
