we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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