the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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