U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Randomize
