so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
worst night to have a conscience
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
