she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
so let's talk penis.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
