I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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