At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Randomize