Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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