When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
