Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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