I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
