I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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