my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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