I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
