He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Boobs speak an international language.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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