Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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