Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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