Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
