I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
