Christians are straight up FREAKS
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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