You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
