There is no way he is gay with that hair.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
