Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
My pussy is not your playground.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
