Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
i black out too much to be "responsible"
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
