Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
