I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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