just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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