watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
