And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
