I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
